I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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