I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
