This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
