I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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