2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
