lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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