Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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