the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
