My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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