can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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