hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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