We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
