nut hugger
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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