that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Houston, we have a squirter
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
