You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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