You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
