I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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