So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
