I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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