chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize