You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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