I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
