no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
