are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
soo... how was my night?
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