what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
