fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
