No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
