someone threw a dead crab at me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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