dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
