yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am available for nakedness
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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