sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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