So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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