I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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