Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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