TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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