so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
