I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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