I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
