420 ftw
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
