That's intense
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have aggressive nipples.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
