you traded sex for a burrito?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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