A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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