Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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