Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
NoShamevember. You game?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
