i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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