Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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