I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
