I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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