You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
