winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
