I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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