we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
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