I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
