Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize