He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
