Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
