you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
