I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
