why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
