Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
