she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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