bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
