Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
