proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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