It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Betty ford says i'm here all night
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
