I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Holy shit dude........stairs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
