so that wasnt chicken after all
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
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she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
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I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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